November 19th, 2021 – BabylonBee.com
ATLANTA, GA—With Rittenhouse found “not guilty”, media outlets across the country are preparing for costly defamation lawsuits after a year of calling him a white supremacist.
With CNN already half-owned by Nick Sandmann, the famous fake news organization will soon be giving the other half of its ownership over to Kyle Rittenhouse. The two have agreed to share joint custody.
“We would like to announce that our clients have come to an agreement to share custody of CNN,” said Sandman and Rittenhouse’s legal teams. “Sandmann will have custody on weekdays, with custody transferring over to Rittenhouse on holidays and weekends.”
After the announcement, Rittenhouse began weeping upon realizing he was now a multimillionaire, while Sandmann smirked like a big MAGA hat-wearing jerkface.
Neither party has decided what to do with Brian Stelter, who may have to be put up for adoption.
The Liberty Beacon Project is now expanding at a near exponential rate, and for this we are grateful and excited! But we must also be practical. For 7 years we have not asked for any donations, and have built this project with our own funds as we grew. We are now experiencing ever increasing growing pains due to the large number of websites and projects we represent. So we have just installed donation buttons on our websites and ask that you consider this when you visit them. Nothing is too small. We thank you for all your support and your considerations … (TLB)
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In our dreams. lol
Take the criminals for every dime