LOS ANGELES, CA — The Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences has added a new category for 2025, awarding for the first time an Oscar for “Most Likely To Be On Epstein List.”
Competition for the new award is expected to be fierce, with the Academy reportedly struggling to narrow down the dozens of nominees.
“We are so thrilled to be adding this new category. We believe it’s going to generate a ton of excitement,” said Academy President Janet Yang. “There are just so many great contenders, people with incredible resumes of degeneracy and deviancy — our committee really has its hands full.”
According to sources, every Hollywood producer or actor not named Kirk Cameron or Kevin Sorbo has been submitted for nomination. “We have spent hours looking through list after list of depraved Hollywood perverts, and frankly, we’re struggling to thin the field,” said Academy Member Sandra Danilo. “It’s a wide open race.”
At publishing time, the Academy had decided in fairness to award the Oscar to every single male in attendance (unless Kirk Cameron or Kevin Sorbo happen to be attending).
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